My First 10K

Last August, I was chased by a bear. You can read the whole thing here.

"Woefully inadequate" are the words to describe my fitness level at that time. So, I started running regularly. I mean, how hard can it be? Just one foot in front of the other - right? What I didn't take into account was my brain and that little voice, Ego, that puts, "You are not good enough" on repeat.


The sinister little voice in my head started her argument, "what are you doing? just give up, you don't fit in here. Look at that person, and that person...everyone is better than you, prettier, smarter, more athletic - nobody likes you." I remembered the race reports from previous years. There were always at least half a dozen people listed as DNF - Did Not Finish. That could be me, I thought. It is ok to not finish...Ego had invited herself and forty other friends to the race. It was an uneven fight and far from fair. There was no way I could face 41-1.

And none of it was real. It was like Ego had activated a whole swarm of hologram bullies. "It's only six miles, and I'm halfway there, I'm just on a walk in the woods, only moving faster." With that thought Ego and her imaginary friends all disappeared and it was just me, doing a race just for me. And it felt good. Really good. 

There is something liberating in realizing that you are racing against just yourself, no one else.

I beat the goal that I had set for myself by 15 whole minutes. Despite the foot injury and Nature's infernos that so frustratingly cut into my training this summer. I punched the air with my fist and hollered, "Fuck Yeah!!" Because when you win a fight with your ego, that deserves an F-bomb.

I finished that 10K and had so much fun, I'm going to do it again. And again. And again.

Top Ten Most Influential Books I've Consumed

I'm OK, You're OK by Thomas Harris - full disclosure, I've never read this book. It was the first book cover I remember trying to read as a kid. I would stare at the title because the font looked so bold, like the book had something to say. Then, I would sound out the letters, and for the longest time I thought it read, "IMOK! You're O.K." I would often yell this and people would look at me strangely, but my five year old self who loved Star Trek thought it was a great thing to yell out, "IMOK!!!! You are OK!" Like, klingon or something. Then, when I actually could read, I realized it said, "I'm ok, You're ok" and even though I had no idea what the book was about, I found a lesson in the title. People who were different than me were ok, and so was I. As an adult, I went back and looked at the book again and appreciated the contents for their worth..

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain - read this when I was very young, and the first takeaway lesson for me was that you could write phonetically to capture regional languages. I drove my mom nuts reading the thing out loud when I was 8 years old, enjoying the sound of the southern drawl. Read it many times over as I grew older, and the lessons expanded every time. Human/family relations, racial tensions, and valuing/honoring friendship.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee - another book from my youth that helped me see the value in looking for the root of truth, not just society's standard of 'values'.

The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco - read this as a teenager and it shaped my thoughts on my own writing. It gave me confidence when I thought I had nothing to write, "every story tells a story that has already been told" helped shape the idea that even though something had already been written about, I could tell the same story from a different perspective.

Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson - appreciating/loving travel by foot along trails more than I already did. Also convincing me that I could sit around and dream or wait until I was ready, or just go do it and learn a few lessons along the way, which has made all the difference in the world.

Woman Alone, Travel Tales from Around the Globe, by assorted authors - an inspirational and entertaining collection of essays that impressed upon me the importance of learning who I was, alone, and appreciating the experience, before sharing my life with an intimate partner.

Leadership the Eleanor Roosevelt Way: Timeless Strategies from the First Lady of Courage by Robin Gerber - At the end of my first internship with Idaho Legal Aid, my internship supervisor Camille gave me this book. The quote, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent," rocked my world to the core, and helped me find my own confidence in both my professional and personal lives.

Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingslover - a page turner of a story that Joe introduced me to when we first started dating, each chapter from a different perspective of three different women - two of whom I wanted to emulate, and one of which Joe told me he was certain was a biographical sketch of me sixty years from now. I think I fell in love with him over that statement. Finally, a guy who totally gets me and loves me for who I am now, and sixty years from now.

Animal Vegetable Miracle, by Barbara Kingslover - why we gave up secure corporate jobs and life in the city for a simpler life closer to the elements that sustain and nurture us. Love, love, love this book. Absolute life changer.

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman - a guilty pleasure that I keep returning to every year. I love his collection of synonyms that turn one object into a host of different worlds, different threads all coming together in one unifying theme. Because of this book, I keep a thesaurus close at hand and try to use the same method to really tie a piece of writing together using synonyms around a single theme. This should be required reading in junior high/high school. The main theme: decisions have weight and actions have consequences.