My First 10K

Last August, I was chased by a bear. You can read the whole thing here.

"Woefully inadequate" are the words to describe my fitness level at that time. So, I started running regularly. I mean, how hard can it be? Just one foot in front of the other - right? What I didn't take into account was my brain and that little voice, Ego, that puts, "You are not good enough" on repeat.


The sinister little voice in my head started her argument, "what are you doing? just give up, you don't fit in here. Look at that person, and that person...everyone is better than you, prettier, smarter, more athletic - nobody likes you." I remembered the race reports from previous years. There were always at least half a dozen people listed as DNF - Did Not Finish. That could be me, I thought. It is ok to not finish...Ego had invited herself and forty other friends to the race. It was an uneven fight and far from fair. There was no way I could face 41-1.

And none of it was real. It was like Ego had activated a whole swarm of hologram bullies. "It's only six miles, and I'm halfway there, I'm just on a walk in the woods, only moving faster." With that thought Ego and her imaginary friends all disappeared and it was just me, doing a race just for me. And it felt good. Really good. 

There is something liberating in realizing that you are racing against just yourself, no one else.

I beat the goal that I had set for myself by 15 whole minutes. Despite the foot injury and Nature's infernos that so frustratingly cut into my training this summer. I punched the air with my fist and hollered, "Fuck Yeah!!" Because when you win a fight with your ego, that deserves an F-bomb.

I finished that 10K and had so much fun, I'm going to do it again. And again. And again.