A Tide Commercial

Kayaking with Loki is dirty business. Even on a pristine clear alpine expanse like Black Pine Lake. Published Methow Valley News, October 14, 2015

I was a vision of loveliness. White shirt, broad-brimmed taupe hat, blue swim trunks.  Paddling across a cold alpine lake, trees along the shoreline turning their leaves in the autumn sun. Black Pine Lake is lovely any time of year, but autumn is particularly magical.

The water is crystal clear, and the edges of the lake hold as much life and color just under the water’s surface, as along the shorelines.

My sweet dog, Loki, sat in the bow of the kayak, her paws and head resting on the fully inflated side. Suddenly she whirled around and frantically licked my face — her way of saying that she needs to go, immediately.

I tried to paddle quickly to the closest shore, all the while dodging her lashing tongue. The paddle bonked her on the head with every stroke. But she did not care. She had to drop a brick. Right now.

As we approached the shoreline, she jumped out and swam to land … only to get mired chest deep in black mud. After a short struggle, she worked her way free and bounded uphill. A look of happy relief spread across her face as she “dropped anchor,” “balanced the budget,” and “communed with nature.”

I paddled over to a large boulder where she could jump from dry land to boulder to kayak and avoid the deep muck on her return trip.

On her way downhill to the boulder she stopped in pleasant surprise. A cow had left a large fresh steamy pile … just for her. She flipped on her back and gleefully slid downhill through the stinky mess. As she slid headfirst downhill, she wiggled her back and shoulders to get the goods ground into her fur. Her muck-blackened legs happily pawed the air.

Loki leaped onto the boulder. A thick glob of mud slid down her side and landed with a loud “kerplop” on the rock. The look on her dung-covered face was pure joy.

I tried to kick off from the rock, hoping she would opt to swim alongside the kayak, but I wasn’t fast enough. Loki launched herself off the boulder and through the air. She belly-flopped into the kayak, her hind legs just missing the boat, kicking the water and sending the kayak into a spin.

Realizing that she was now “splashing,” her second-favorite activity aside from rolling in smelly things, she became all the happier. With great gusto she splashed with her hind legs, sending splatters of dung and mud all over me and my white shirt, and my lovely broad-brimmed taupe hat. Using her muscular frame, she propelled herself at my upper torso, covering my face with sloppy kisses and rocking the kayak with her exuberance. I was no longer a vision of loveliness. I was a Tide commercial.

I didn’t think Loki could top that gag-producing performance. But this last week, Loki got skunked. I will take lake muck and cow gunk over skunk funk any day.

Many thanks to Shannon Fharnham, owner of Mountain Paws in Winthrop. She met me at the shop after hours so we could get skunk odor-neutralizing spray and shampoo, which worked fabulously.

 

Mom's Chocolate No Bake Cookies

It's a rainy October Sunday, and for some reason, I'm feeling nostalgic. Mom would whip these up on a Saturday night and let us lick the spoon and pan clean. I think these will hit the spot for all my sweet/salty/nostalgia cravings. Adding a pinch of cinnamon and chili powder kicks these up a notch.

Lazy Lasagna

I'll be the first to admit that the picture does not do the dish culinary justice.
I'm a writer. Not a photographer.
But, I just made the laziest, most ridiculously delicious lasagna that ever simmered in one pot, from start to finish.
That's right. I said, "one pot"

This is how it went down:

• 1 pound ground meat. I used 1/2 lb ground lamb from McFarland Creek Lamb Ranch, and 1/2 lb spicy italian sausage from Hank's in Twisp.
• 1 medium sweet onion, chopped
• 5 cloves garlic, chopped 
• 32 oz tomato sauce
• 1 cup red wine
• 1 teaspoon onion powder,
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 2 tablespoons Italian seasoning
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 1 1/2 cup farfalle pasta
• olives
• artichoke hearts
• kale
• Sunny Pine parsley and chive chevre
• Shredded parmesan
• mozarrella
• fresh parsley 

In large deep pot over medium heat, brown meat and then drain juices. Add chopped onion and garlic. Cook for another 2 minutes. Add tomato sauce, wine, seasonings and honey. Bring to a simmer before stirring in the dry pasta. Cover, bring ingredients to a boil, and cook 10-15 minutes until pasta is tender.
Add other tasty ingredients: olives, artichoke hearts, and kale. Simmer lasagna uncovered until thickened. Stir in chevre and shredded parmesan. Top with mozarrella. Cover again for two minutes to melt cheese. Serve topped with chopped parsely.

Voting with a Conscience

I can not look a grieving parent in the eye
And tell them the shooter had a right to own that gun
So I vote for responsible gun laws

I can not look a hungry senior citizen in the eye
And preach to them about hand outs
So I vote for food stamps

I can not look a poor woman in the eye
And deny her affordable health care, birth control, and cancer screenings
So I vote for candidates who support Planned Parenthood

I can look a rich man in the eye
And ask him to pay a tax rate comparable to everyone else
So I vote for responsible tax rates

I can look a corporate CEO in the eye
And demand their support for the local infrastructure that makes their business possible
So I vote for a sustainable economy, and corporate responsibility

Effortless Onion Soup

One of my husband's favorite meals is onion soup. I love it because it is so effortless to make. Butter, onions, spices into pot - set it and forget it.
1 stick butter
a few sprigs of fresh thyme, or a teaspoon of dried thyme
1 bay leaf
10-12 onions
32 oz beef broth
2 tablespoons Better than Boullion concentrated beef base
Baguette/Smoked Gouda cheese

Place butter, herbs, and chopped onions into crock pot. Set on high for 8 hours.
Onions will cook down to a carmelized gorgeous stew.
Add the broth and beef base to taste. Stir, and cook on high, uncovered for another hour.

Slice baguette down the middle, and then into squares. Top with shredded gouda cheese and place under broiler for 5 minutes or until cheese is melted and slightly brown.

Pour soup into bowls and top with cheesy bread.