I was a vision of loveliness

White shirt, broad brimmed taupe hat, blue swim trunks.
Paddling across a cold alpine lake, trees along the shoreline turning their leaves in the autumn sun...
Loki enjoying the ride in the front of the kayak. Suddenly she whirled around and frantically licked my face - her way of saying, "I've got to poop. RIGHT NOW!!"
I quickly paddled to the closest shore, trying to avoid her lashing tongue - paddle bonking her on the head with every stroke.
I say, "we're almost there," she turns, and seeing the shoreline, leaps out of the kayak and swims to shore...only to get mired chest deep in black, inky muck.
She works her way free and bounds uphill, a look of happy relief as she finished her business. Meanwhile, I paddle over to a large boulder where she could jump from dry land to boulder to kayak and avoid the muck.
On her way down hill to the boulder she stopped in pleasant surprise. A cow had left a large fresh steamy pile...just for her. She flipped on her back and gleefully slid downhill, wiggling to ensure her fur was adequately coated, her muck-blackened legs happily pawing the air.
She hopped on the rock, ever so pleased with herself. Bottom half covered in black muck, top half covered in dung. A thick glob of mud slid down her side and landed with a loud kerplop on the rock. I tried to kick off from the rock, hoping she would instead swim alongside the kayak, but I wasn't fast enough. Loki leaped through the air and belly flopped into the kayak, her hind legs kicking in the water. Realizing that she was now "splashing", her other favorite activity besides rolling in shit, she made no effort to either get in or out of the kayak, as she was having much more fun splashing the water with her hind legs, sending splatters of dung and mud all over me and my white shirt, and my lovely broad brimmed taupe hat.
Nearby, in the other kayak, sat Joe and Shasta. Joe laughed hysterically. Shasta sat in quiet response, reclining in the bow like the queen of the Nile, her eyelids half closed in an afternoon nap.